Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
