Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
