Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
