4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
