I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Randomize
