I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize