We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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