My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Congratulations! We have a period
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