So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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