Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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