But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
