at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
