Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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