How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
