Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
