the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
