If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
