how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
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You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
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I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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