you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
