just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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