I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
