never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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