I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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