we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
