What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Randomize
