If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
