If i could tip my vagina, i would.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
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he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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