how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
