But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I love you. Go after that dick
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
