If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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