:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
He felt like a one man threesome
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Randomize
