It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Randomize