I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
