Tell her she can't have a vagina
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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