Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
