dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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