She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
It's official drugs can't kill me
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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