i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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