i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
she told me i tasted like america
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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