Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
