Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Randomize
