Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize
