I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
i would one night stand the shit outta him
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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