Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
