READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
