Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
