the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize