I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize