At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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