Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
She just used a chaser for red wine.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
