Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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