For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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