They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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