I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
