Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
