How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
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