There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Randomize
