Moan for me like Helen Keller
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
