butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
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