You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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