On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
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