Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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