i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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