i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
