I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
