walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
