didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize