he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
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the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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